I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
