I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
