What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
bring money and cleavage
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
