Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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