I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
