Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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