You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
