one might say we're banned from that church
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
