well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
