That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
