Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
