just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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