I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
