Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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