I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
splinters make it hard to masturbate
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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