What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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