I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize