You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
