the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
