Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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