it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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