i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize