im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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