well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You made out with two different species that night
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
