You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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