we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize