I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize