he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
