I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
