so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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