Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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