Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
