my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
