you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
