Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
