I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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