Are we in a gay sports bar?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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