I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
