Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
