He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
