Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
