We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
