Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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