oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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