Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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