Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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