You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
