I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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