in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Fuck appropriateness.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
