Barsexuality is the new black.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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