I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
