The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
