So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
