now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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