get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
