My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
