You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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