it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Someone came in the potted fern
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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